


one hundred ways to say it

by aditihili



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Kanej - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 22:15:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10201925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aditihili/pseuds/aditihili
Summary: This is Kaz, and this is Inej, and neither of them know how to say 'I love you'. So they find other ways to say it. A series of one-shots.based on this post: http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you





	

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a modern AU, because of the prompt, but they're still Dirtyhands and the Wraith. They're driving back from a job and Kaz's thoughts are as dramatic as ever.

Kaz thinks he could live like this, maybe forever. The world's quiet except for the smooth hum of the engine, the sound of their breathing. He feels as if there ought to be something disquieting about Inej driving his car, but it's safe in her hands, he knows that with absolute certainty. Maybe that should worry him more than anything, but in this quiet he can avoid thinking about the wider problem of Inej - or more accurately his reliance on her - and focus on details.

Tonight had been pulled off without a hitch. The man was dead, body dealt with, and the reward collected at the selfsame party where they'd killed him. It had been an elegant affair, and Kaz wondered what those elegant people would have thought about his presence if they'd known who he was. He'd looked the part, though, just another mercher - with just another pretty face at his side.

Inej was - is, currently - beautiful. He's slowly become aware of this in a distant way, like background noise, until he's started noticing it, now and then, very clearly. It was in the way he can't quite see where iris and pupil meet and could very well spend hours finding it; in the way her hair, so rarely loose, spills over her shoulders like black ink. He finds himself looking at it now, and he should turn away, but he can't quite bring himself to do it. She's focussed on the driving. She won't turn around. It's not really the main issue, but it's enough for him to allow himself to keep looking.

She yawns. It's a quiet sound, graceful, contained, but nevertheless it disturbs Kaz's reverie and turns his study to the tiredness in her eyes, in the set of her lips. The easy silence is gone, vanished like a skittish animal, and he can't find a way back.

Something has to be said. "Pull over," his mouth says with somebody else's words. "Let me drive for a while." It's for the best, really. If he can think about the road then he can't think about her too much.

Even the Wraith takes a moment too long to react, exhausted, but also considering his words. "The Slat isn't far away," she says, not rejecting but not accepting either, teetering on some edge. "There's not much point changing over. I'm not that tired, Kaz." Lie. He can see the second yawn hovering over her lips. 

The plan might have come off perfectly, but she only knew as much of the plan as she had to, and there were points that stressed her, would have tired her. He feels something like guilt, then shoves it down. "Didn't ask." Even he doesn't understand why he's talking like this, harsh command edging his voice, but it's necessary. There has to be some way of pushing them apart and keeping the gap between them clear.

"Alright, Kaz." There's a sigh in her voice. Disappointment? It should be.

He shouldn't be thinking like this. He can't be close to people, he never can, so he has built up a wall between them and him. This is safest. This is best. It's not as if he owes her something. He just needs to stop thinking about the way she looked at that party, in that dress. He just needs to stop thinking about the way her smile lights up the world and her laugh outshines all music. He just needs to get over it - get over her.

Driving is easier. Something else to pay attention to. Nevertheless, when he looks across a few minutes later and sees her soundly asleep, he can't help the smile that tugs at his lips. Nobody's watching. He can have this. He can have this.


End file.
